Mirror Synchronicity: Fly on the Wall

If you didn't watch the vice-presidential debates last night, you may have heard about the fly. Apparently a fly landed on Mike Pence's head and was there for a couple of minutes. He did not swat it away or react.  Perhaps because this has been a tense time for everyone, people are quick to find humor where they can. Apparently, the fly was so funny, it started trending on Twitter. It even made the New York Times. 

I go to see what all the fuss is about and when I go to play the debate, this comes on...

 

Mirror Synchronicity: Elvis lives on

Yesterday when I was getting a blood draw, the technician told me her mom went to high school with Elvis. He was a senior when her mom was a freshman.

Then I went to my first visit to a hospice patient with dementia and we started talking about music. I asked her who she would like to hear and she said Elvis.

Later in the day, I was talking to a friend who went to the ADEC conference in Atlanta this year. The friend brought up a really interesting presentation that she had seen about celebrities who live on in lore...and of course, my friend mentioned Elvis as an example. I screamed in her ear.

Elvis lives on.  Two synchros in one day and I wouldn't have bothered, but after I heard the third, I had to post.

Mirror Synchronicity: Damn Raccoons

This week we noticed that every morning when we were leaving for work, our cat Kizzy was staring outside. There were raccoons climbing up to our 2nd floor deck.

We thought it was a one-off but then when it happened several days in a row, I started looking online to see what I could find about repelling raccoons. I'm cheap so I wanted to use something natural. I sprinkled a bunch of cayenne pepper around the deck and started collecting cat hair.

When my friend Kristi asked me to go to lunch, I sent her a text asking her to collect some dog hair and bring it with her. She asked why and I sent her the above picture. Her response was, "Sure, but I'm not sure it will work because it hasn't stopped them from tearing a hole in our soffit..."  She sent me this picture:

Damn raccoons.

At lunch we talked about the expenses to repair all of the damage caused so far by these rascals. I was horrified and nervous about my homemade method of deterrent. When I got home, I went out on the deck and found the raccoon toilet. I have a picture, but I will spare you the visual of seven piles of crap. I started reaching my phone through the deck railings to try to take pictures of where the deck meets the house and discovered WE HAVE A HOLE TOO.

Damn raccoons.

I might have never thought to look for the hole had Kristi not asked me to lunch & I thought to ask for dog hair. This mirror synchronicity might have saved us from more damage. I hope.

Mirror Synchronicity: Ninjas on the mind

For the past two months, I have been working on an article connecting ninjutsu to hospice. I read multiple books and wrote my article. I sent it to our editor and then she had several changes which I found discouraging. I let the article sit for another two weeks and then finally resolved to finish it.  You can read it here if you're interested...

Immediately after I finished it, I texted my one of the other editors to let him know that it was finally done. Then I looked at the mail stack that my husband had left for me, and I had a Postcrossing postcard from Japan with tiny ninja stickers on it.

The following day, I received another package in the mail and it was Japanese Newsweek with an article that I was in!

I think I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese.,. I really think so. Honestly though, I love Japan. My family was stationed in Okinawa when I was an infant and I was told at one time my first words were Japanese... 

Mirror Synchronicity: The Other Me

Lately my name has been coming up a lot in reference to other people with the same name. The first incident was on Jeopardy. My husband was laughing when they introduced the contestants and one was "Liz Miles." He wanted to know if I wanted a picture. I did not. Especially not after she talked about the sex life of Japanese men during her story. What?!



Here's an article written about her unexpected story.

But then a week later, I saw a CEU at work offered by Liz Miles, a pharmacist. I have not met another Liz Miles in person, so I might go to the class even though it is over my head. Kind of cool that these two are smart people. I'm in good company.

The icing on the cake though was a very long email I just got, thanking me for my involvement in some camp in Colorado.

It read in part:

Great Job everyone!

I want to say a great big THANK YOU to each of you for the part you played in making our first day of Expedition Norway go so well!  We had 125 kids come today and every one of them had a huge smile on their face!  I loved seeing you all interacting with the children and loving on them.  My heart is overflowing with gratefulness for all of you and for what God is 

doing through you!

I don't know this for sure, but I wonder if it's the same Lizzy Miles in Colorado who bought Cutco knives, which is (I believe) the sister of "Bruce" who invited her to a wedding. Both the knives and the wedding invitation were connected to a Lizzy Miles in Colorado. The knives purchase scared me because I knew I didn't buy any knives and I worried about identity theft. I researched the situation and confirmed that is was a typo on the email. whew! 
Bruce was apologetic that he sent me a wedding invitation intended for his sister. He said since it was his sister he should have known better. I don't have any brothers... maybe Bruce will be my honorary brother.

There is also a Lizzy Miles in England for whom I get email. One was bad for me to receive. Though I have never met her, I feel it's not my place to share her medical information that was sent to me by mistake. Certainly, I emailed the senders and they were quite embarrassed. Strangely, they wouldn't give me Lizzy's true email address. I wanted it in case I got other emails that were intended for her (which has happened.)

So what does all this mean? It is a big reminder to me how connected the world is. I think we always were connected, but now with the internet, it's almost supernatural (in a good way.)  I would like to meet some of the other Liz Miles/Lizzy Miles people out there. Maybe if they google themselves, they'll find this article...

Mirror Synchronicity: No Fate

The last time I was in Las Vegas we ate at Chin Chin Chinese restaurant at New York New York Casino. The meal was excellent. After the meal, the waiter brought the check and fortune cookies. As you can imagine, I LOVE fortunes and all that stuff. I was disappointed to find that my fortune cookie was empty of a fortune. When the waiter came back with the credit card, I mentioned the empty cookie (with hopes I would get another cookie, I think.)  Without missing a beat, the waiter said,

“There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves.”

I then learned from my husband and the waiter that the quote was a line from the Terminator. I don't know if the waiter had used that line before, but I thought it was quite witty to come up with that response so quickly.

This happened 5 months ago, and as I am getting ready to go to Las Vegas again, yesterday I was thinking about that restaurant and that exchange with the waiter.

Then last night I was watching the latest episode of Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. There is an episode set in Turkey. The main character is reminiscing with an old friend and said, 

"How did we get here from there?"

His friend replied, "The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make."

Another character said, "That's beautiful, is that from the Koran?"

and of course Gary Sinise's character replies, "Terminator II"

So, this is definitely a mirror synchronicity that happened for me and I wonder if it is a directional synchronicity too. Is the universe reminding me that my future is in my hands?

Mirror Synchronicity: School Zone

Today as I was driving through a school zone with my husband, he mentioned that sometimes he forgets to slow down. He described how some lady yelled at him.

I said I used to forget, until I got pulled over once. He didn't remember that I had.

I told him that I just got a warning, which he couldn't believe. "I thought school zone tickets were automatic," he said.
We ended up talking about school zones for several minutes.

This evening, when I logged on my computer, I got a Facebook prompt to see my "memories" from today.

Imagine my surprise to see this from seven years ago today:

Directional Synchronicity: Is "Badass" the New "Rock Star"?

The Badasses seem to have kicked the Rock Stars butts.

A couple of weeks ago at a friend's birthday party I noticed he had a gold necklace that said BADASS. Then I started seeing and hearing the word badass everywhere. In fact, I did a Google News search and it surprised me to see the word used as a headline in so many articles.

The word is not new, but seems to me to be quite trendy now and the usage has not been standardized. You might see Bad Ass, Badass or BADASS. Reminds me of the time when some of us wrote e-mail, which turned out to be a pain, so it evolved to email. I think badass as one word will win. The way it's used varies too.

It is mostly used as an adjective
25 BADASS ways to say no
8 Badass women warriors
10 badass Latinas Every American Should Thank
Celebrate Chuck Norris on His Birthday with 10 Badass Memes
and my favorite - 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered

but sometimes used as a noun

There is even a website store named BadAss Jewelry. (note the capital A).

Now maybe it's just me, but I don't think this word has been mainstream very long. A couple of years ago, the aspirational adjective was to be a rock star, or to be around rock stars. The New York Times noted the popularity of the Rock Star buzz word in the Fall of 2015

How Rock Star Became a Business Buzzword

And sure enough there were a lot of articles about business people being rock stars
Business Plan: Become a Rock Star, 5 Characteristics of a Rockstar Startup CEO and 5 Ways to Keep your Rock Star Employees from Quitting

There are still articles about rock stars but now it seems that badass has taken over. It's hard to prove the evolution because musicians are still "rock stars" in media articles and a lot of rock stars have been dying lately. Additionally, there are brands with rockstar in the name, most notably the energy drink.

So why the transition?  It's the second dictionary definition in the McMillan dictionary that intrigues me:  "ready to behave in an unpleasant way when necessary".

Google gives a similar definition: "a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person".

A journalist for Atlantic Monthly claims that badass has been appropriated as a feminist word.

This blog is a record of my synchronistic experiences, so with me noticing the word badass everywhere, does that mean the universe is telling me to be one?  That's not my assertion. I I don't really identify with either word.  I like cat videos and muppets and rainbow colored candy.  What do people like me aspire to?

I'm still trying to figure this all out.

Synchronicity on TV: Angel from Hell

If you like synchronicities, this new CBS comedy show with Jane Lynch Angel from Hell is a must-see.  This trailer should give you an idea of the humor.  Warning: the trailer has spoilers of the first episode.  If you trust me, I would just say find the first episode and watch that.

Mirror Synchronicity: The origin of the Vulcan symbol

When I first started this blog, I said I would only blog when I had synchronicities. I was very good for the first few years and then it fell off. Well, I have had several synchros in a row that were quite odd. I felt that I needed to come back to posting to here when things happen. This is a record for me to remind me of the nature of the universe.
So anyways...
A couple of days ago, I was in a Half Price Books store when an older woman came up to me and told me that she liked my t-shirt. It said, "Happiness is an inside job." (Nothing to do with Star Trek.) She asked me where I got it, which I thought was an odd question. I was slightly embarrassed to say that I still shop at Forever 21. Sidebar. Anyways. She randomly started talking about the Vulcan symbol and how she could never do it until the day "he" died. I asked if she was talking about Leonard Nimoy and she said yes. She mentioned that he borrowed the symbol from a Jewish gesture. The conversation was a long and strange encounter, and odd enough for me to tell my husband about it later that evening.

Tonight we were catching up on last night's Jeopardy. Leonard Nimoy was a category, and there was a question about the greeting that originated from a Jewish gesture. I didn't capture a picture, but the question was, you guessed it, "What is the Vulcan Salute?"

You can learn more about the Jewish origin of the Vulcan Salute here.

Mirror Synchronicity: Jesus is calling

I was visiting a hospice client with late stage dementia, and I noticed the caregiver had several books lying around.  We started talking about the books he had been reading and he mentioned that he had received the Jesus Calling book from a nurse of ours.  He said he found it to be incredible helpful and inspiring.  I made a note of it.

I went to visit my next client who has a very similar condition to the first client.  I thought about how similar their conditions were and also that they both had the same first name.  The son had music playing next to the client's ear on an IPOD.  The last time I had been to the house he had 50's music on the player, but on this day it was gospel music.  Imagine my surprise when, after only being there a few minutes, there was an Alan Jackson song with the lyrics "Jesus Calling."

I was SO struck by the synchronicity that I had to pause for a moment and acknowledge the coincidence.  The son told me the name of the song and I made a note of it.  He then said, Wouldn't it be funny if the phone rang right now?"

It didn't.  But that would have been freaky.

Mirror Synchronicity: Hong Kong Death Cafe

You may or may not have made the connection between this blogger and the Death Cafe movement. Yes, I'm the same Lizzy Miles. I was planning my trip to Hong Kong in June to present the Death Cafe concept at The International Conference on Grief and Bereavement.  Since a fellow Death Cafe host was going with me to present, I thought we could possibly host or co-host a Death Cafe in Hong Kong. I was at the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference in late April and I met Professor Andy Ho from Hong Kong University. I spoke with him briefly at the conference and mentioned that I thought it would be cool to have a Death Cafe in Hong Kong. After the conference I sent an email asking for help in finding a co-host. 

Extract from email I sent on May 4 to Professor Andy Ho: 
What would be needed from our local hosts: 
1. Finding a location (detailed specs below) 
2. Help to spread the word locally (co-design a flyer/send emails/ post on social media/ talk to media) 
3. Help with co-hosting event (3-6:30pm on 6/14) 

On May 8th, completely unrelated to the email I sent, I received an email through the Deathcafe.com website: 

Dear Lizzy,
A friend and I are planning to set up a death cafe in Hong Kong. I read the International Conference on Grief & Bereavement website and wish to know which date and time your sharing will be. 
Regards, Carmen 

I wrote Carmen back and did not mention dates but said that I was already in discussion with Hong Kong University folks regarding hosting an event. Again, I did not mention any dates. 

Carmen wrote back on May 9th and said: 
For the hosting of Death Cafe, I am planning to be at 3pm-5pm on 14th /15th June. 

Carmen picked the EXACT DATE and TIME I had suggested to Professor Ho. I got chills. I knew then that this would be a momentous occasion. From that point forward the coordination and organization by the Hong Kong hosts was incredible. As it ended up, I had the opportunity to attend the event as a guest and I was not even needed as a host.  During the event, I was so moved by the experience and the magnitude of it all. Attendees expressed deep gratitude for the creation of a safe place to have conversations about the taboo topic of death and dying.

The event was covered by the media that evening on television and the following day in the South China Morning Post.

Directional Synchronicity: Disconnected

I was talking on the phone with my boss when we got disconnected for no reason (she was on a land line and I normally have excellent cell reception.)  I called her back and we talked for just a minute or two and got disconnected again.  I called her a third time just to say goodbye and end the conversation.  She said she thought her phone was broken.  I told her the disconnected phone calls were the universe's way of telling us we need to focus our attention elsewhere.  Sure enough, within 2 minutes I received a customer service phone call that I had been anticipating for days.  Because I answered the call, I was directly able to talk to the company representative and plead my case.  Had I stayed on the phone with my boss, I would have stayed outside and missed the call on my home phone.  Pay attention to your disconnects!

Mirror Synchronicity: Superbowl Screwed?

I was sitting with my husband while he was watching the Superbowl. He started out rooting for Baltimore but began to root for San Francisco when the game became unbalanced. I was half watching and half reading on the IPad. I came across this article in Mental Floss about a new type of coffin that screws into the ground vertically.

Right as I was reading the article,the Ravens scored again right after halftime and my husband said,

"Well, they're screwed now."

That was synchronicity number one.

It continues. I turn the page on my Flipboard over to Fast Company and the first article I see is:

Wait, it gets better. Just a couple of minutes later I was reading this article

when my husband said,

"They've lost power."

For those of you who aren't watching the Superbowl, "they" meant the Superdome itself.  They lost half of its power for several minutes (could be longer, I felt compelled to come blog!)

Directional Synchronicity: A Moldy Moment

Recently my husband and I were talking about the music genre of "funk." We tried to find a station on Sirius, but the only station we found was a blend that ended up playing Whitney Houston. I told him I had some real funk music and went looking in the basement for my CDs.

For the record, (pun intended), any real funk collection must include some Parliament:

While I was rooting around in my basement, I found a number of CDs that I had not yet opened. I had purchased them over two years ago. One of them I was very excited to see, a collection of Buddhist meditations by Pema Chödrön. The main reason the CDs were left unopened is that about a year ago, we had a sump pump malfunction and a subsequent flood in our basement about six months after we had moved in. I had not unpacked boxes and the cardboard soaked up a lot of the water. Sorting through ruined letters, photographs, postcards and books was very emotional for me. It is a year later and I have not finished the job.

When I brought the CDs upstairs, I noticed some of the cases were ruined by the water but the CDs were still intact. The meditation CD, however, was ruined. I tried as hard as I could to pry open the case and I could not. It wasn't cheap ($29), and I had never even listened to it! I began to cry. Then I noticed the title and that's when I couldn't help but laugh.

As I stood there and looked at my moldy CD that was over two years old and never opened, the lesson sunk in. The title of the CD was, "This Moment Is the Perfect Teacher." It almost became a Mantra.

This Moment Is the Perfect Teacher
This Moment Is the Perfect Teacher
This Moment Is the Perfect Teacher

My basement is full of memories from the past that I could not let go of. The flood, I've always felt, was a nudge from the universe to help me to start to let go. Seeing the mold was a shove. This could get really ugly if I don't do something soon.

It's time to clear it all out and stop living in the past.  LET GO.

Mirror Synchronicity: Snowflakes

Snowflakes actually start as tiny ice crystals that form from water vapor that freezes in the atmosphere. The size of a snowflake depends on how many ice crystals connect together. Like snowflakes, this synchronicity kept growing.

Part of my job as a hospice social worker is to lead groups. I was on the hook for leading a "Making Memories" craft/discussion group at a local nursing home. Nearly two months ago I had talked with the activities coordinator about the craft and I suggested we make snowflakes. It is a craft that most people remember from their childhood years. She thought that was a great idea.

Now first of all, I need to tell you that I am not a "crafty" person and I did not remember how to create them.   I knew I needed paper and scissors, which seemed easy enough. I got online a few times and tried to follow instructions on Pinterest, but my efforts never looked like the ones on the blogs.

This was also going to be my first time leading this craft group, so I wanted everything to go well. Snowflakes were on my mind. The first synchronicity happened when I was at my metaphysical party and a man who sells minerals and stones by the name of "TomStones" walked up and handed me a Snowflake Obsidian stone as a gift and said it was calling out to me.

On Tuesday the week of the event, a colleague called to confirm the event was on Thursday. I had Wednesday on my calendar. I called the activities coordinator and she said they had changed it Thursday but she must have forgotten to tell me. I was secretly relieved that I would have another day to figure out how to cut out the snowflakes so that I could teach the group.

On the day of the event I forgot my badge. I had an extra badge in my purse with the wrong name (Liz instead of Lizzy), but I figured that it would be better than not having a badge. I did not have a lanyard though. At the nursing home I was visiting in the morning, I walked in a different entrance than where my meeting was in order to go buy a lanyard from the store in the facility. Unfortunately it was closed. 

I walked through the long hallways to get from where the store was to where I needed to be. On the route there were beautiful quilts hanging up on the wall, which I admired greatly. When I made it over to the right part of the building I had some extra time so I inquired with the receptionist about a particular quilt that had caught my eye. She told me about the quilting group that exhibits. I said that I really wished I could quilt like they did but it seemed hard.

She said they were not hard at all. She used to do Hawaiian quilting. I had never heard of it.

She then said, "Do you remember how to do the snowflake craft from when we were kids?" I started laughing and she looked at me a bit strangely. I explained the situation that I was hours away from leading group and I had not yet figured it out.

By the way, here is an example of Hawaiian quilting.  Look familiar?

The receptionist took out her scissors and paper and demonstrated for me how to cut the paper.

Oh and one other synchronicity - the weather. On the day the event was originally scheduled (January 30), it was 65 degrees outside. The day we actually held the crafting event (January 31)?  SNOWY and 25.

Mirror Synchronicity: Willing Hands Make Happy Hearts

It was Friday night an I was getting ready to sit down and watch television with my husband. While I was waiting for him, I found Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original 1971 version) on cable. Here is a clip from my favorite movie:

When my husband joined me in the living room, he did not want to watch Willy Wonka, so we decided to watch 30 Rock on DVR. The title of the episode was A Goon's Deed in a Weary World. The description of the episode is pretty basic:

As Liz and Criss' new children arrive, Jack seeks a new head of NBC and TGS teeters on the edge.

So imagine my surprise when, during the episode there were multiple references to Willy Wonka! At first I thought it would be just the one reference or similarity, but they weaved the Willy Wonka theme throughout the show.

The sign "Willing Hands Make Happy Hearts" can be seen in the movie scene above

Kenneth portraying a fake bad guy as a test for the potential employee "Charlie"

During 30 Rock there was a promo for the television show Faceoff advertising a Willy-Wonka special effects contest. I was nearly delirious about the triple synchronicity. Then, as I was writing this, I discovered that the SciFy channel is owned by NBC and that the tie-in was probably quite deliberate.  Oh well.

Mirror Synchronicity: Time Travel

Last weekend I watched two time travel movies. The concept of time travel fascinates me. The first movie I saw was Looper, which I had been looking forward to. Unfortunately, I found it to have too much gunfire to hold my interest. 

The second movie MORE than made up for the disappointment of the first one. It was titled Safety Not Guaranteed. I have been talking about this movie all week. If this ad intrigues you, the for sure, watch the movie:

Now here is where the synchronicity comes in. I've been thinking about this time travel movie all week and randomly someone leaves a comment on a time travel post that I wrote three years ago. 

Mirror Synchronicity: The Nose Knows

Note: there are actually two synchronicities in this post. The first part is actually a directional synchronicity, but I was rather attached to the title for the second synchronicity, so I kept it.

This past weekend my in-laws were visiting from out of town. Every time my husband and I have out-of-town guests, we always deliberate on where to take them. We don't have a set place that we like for guests yet.

There is a new wine bar in town that I suggested. My husband was reluctant because he had never been there but after I raved about it, he agreed to check it out. I had called ahead and found out that their busiest time was 7:00 p.m. so we arrived promptly at 6:00 to beat the rush. Well, apparently we weren't the only ones who had the idea of visiting the new wine bar/restaurant on a Saturday night because even at 6:00 there was  1 1/2 hour wait.

Since we had the buzzer anyway, we decided to walk a little bit down the street of the outdoor mall to see if there was an opening at Turkish restaurant that we like, Cafe Istanbul. We didn't recommend that restaurant immediately because we weren't sure whether our guests would like it, but they assured us they eat Mediterranean food. Best of all, there was no wait. We were seated with the buzzer in hand and after we ordered our food, I ran back and returned the buzzer to the other restaurant.

When I came back, my father in-law was making small talk with the man at the table next to us because he was wearing a Hilton Head sweatshirt. I was sitting parallel to him with my husband in between us. I leaned forward and glanced at the man. Something about him looked familiar. I glanced again. He looked back at me and I sensed he did not recognize me.

The man at the restaurant

I thought maybe I was identifying the similarity between him and the actor John C. Reilly. (Note, I did not think he WAS the actor, but in the moment I thought that was maybe that was why he looked familiar.)

John C. Reilly

I looked at him again and he caught me looking at him. It was akward so I said, "I'm sorry, you just look really familiar to me."

He said, "Let me see your nose." That certainly was unexpected.
** [This is where a 2nd synchronicity comes in but I will finish the first story]

I faced him straight on and he said, "I'm an ENT. I am Dr. ______," [That's ear, nose and throat for anyone who has never needed to see an ENT].

As it turned out, he was MY ENT.  I had sudden hearing loss over ten years ago, and he was the doctor that I saw a decade ago. This year, I saw him again when I had to have my ear tubes re-inserted. The reason I had trouble recognizing him was because when I see him before surgery he's usually wearing his surgical mask which covers up a big part of his face!

Once we figured out how we knew each other we had a good laugh and sadly he told me he moved his practice out of town. If I have any more ENT issues, I have to go see his partner. I was glad to find that out because he told me who I should see.

** Now here is the 2nd synchronicity (mirror synchronicity). Just a few days ago my husband and I were flipping through the television and a cheesy 1980s movie came on. He recognized one of the actresses and paused the television and kept quizzing me to see if I could guess who it was. He said he could tell who it was because he recognizes people by their noses.  [It was Melora Hardin, who plays Jan from The Office, but I cannot remember the 80s movie it was].

Columbus, OH Death Café #6: The Power of Ritual

 January 9, 2013

The Death Café events never cease to amaze me in the variety of attendees, which leads to unique conversations each time.  This Death Café had some repeat attendees and some new ones.  Mix in an attendee with a Master’s in Transpersonal Psychology and an attendee who is a funeral home director and you’re going to have an interesting dialogue.

Words that were used to describe this event include: open, participating, enlightening, refreshing and therapeutic.

Just recently, TLC aired the first episode of the Best Funeral Ever.  This show has caused quite a stir in the media where journalists have used the phrases, “that’s disgusting” and “trivializes death.”  Death is supposed to be private, they say.  Attendees at the Death Café do not necessarily agree with that sentiment.  Those of us in attendance realize that we are a minority.  We acknowledge our mortality and the mortality of those around us.  As a facilitator, I usually try not to direct the conversation, but I could not help but ask about the professional mourners that I had seen on the show.  Professional mourners were individuals who were hired to attend the services and display outward signs of emotion.

“Are those people for real?”

“Yes,” the funeral home director told me.

“Could I be one?”

“You might not fit in,” he said.  He went on to explain that the professional mourners actually do serve a purpose to allow others to grieve openly.  He told me with the African American culture, there is a strong desire to keep emotions in check.  This rings true to me because in my hospice work I have heard repeatedly, “I have to be strong for the others.”

At this Death Café we talked about how we are a pain avoiding society.  People avoid funerals because they are afraid to experience pain.  They don’t realize that the funerals are healing experiences.  Even planning the funeral can be a healing process because it allows families to really think about how they want to honor their loved one.

We talked about how the television show calls the funerals “Celebration of life.” Then someone brought up that not every death is a celebration of life.  Especially not if it was a tragic accident.  Or murder.  Or a mass shooting of school children.

The room got quiet when someone brought up Sandyhook.  We sat still with the pain.

Someone pondered if these mass shooting events made people think more about death.  We concluded that one cannot help but think about it in the moment but people try to forget about death as soon as they can.  The mass shootings seem to make us more avoidant.  It is so painful that we want to run away, change the channel.  Avoid, avoid, avoid.

This led us to discuss how we talk about death with our children and how we, as children, were first exposed to death.

The conversation was not entirely serious though.  We talked about the cathartic experience of going through a loved one’s possessions.  That it is good to get your affairs in order to a point, but the process of sorting through belongings sometimes forces families to come together and grieve together.  Surprisingly, that even sorting through “stuff” can help heal.

We talked about so much more than what could be summarized here, but you’ll just have to come to a Death Café for yourself to see what it is like.  The next Columbus Death Café is February 6^th.  No RSVP required.  The event will be from 7-9 p.m. at the Westerville Panera 782 N. State Street.  Please contact Lizzymiles@gmail.com with questions.

We now have a Facebook page to advertise our events.  Please “like” us at:

https://www.facebook.com/ColumbusDeathCafe

As always, to follow Death Café events worldwide, please visit www.deathcafe.com