A new soul experiences the colors

Praying by my aunt's bedside, I started to see swirling circles of color in my head. The colors were more vibrant than anything I have ever seen on this earth... I can't even explain them. I started to notice that as different people in the room talked to my aunt, the colors would change. I then noticed that the colors were relatively consistent with the people. My uncle was navy blue, my cousin Lynn, turquoise. Every time the grandchildren came in the room I saw little red hearts. The colors were so consistent that I could tell who was walking in the room even with my eyes closed. My cousin C. had green, but for her, I sensed it wasn't her color but rather her mother (who was dying) was trying to send her healing energy.

So now what? It still feels like a parlor trick. What do I do with this newfound knowledge?

A new soul has a new experience

Those of you who have followed my blog for a while know that I have not ever claimed to have any psychic abilities. At best, I would have described myself as empathetic. Well, something happened 2 weeks ago today and my crown chakra must have exploded open or something because I am now sensing and feeling things I have never felt before. I believe the catalyst was when a very dear aunt with end-stage Alzheimer's went to the E.R. in Cleveland. Almost from the first night I was there, this new sense of the world opened up.

The very first thing that happened was when I was sitting by her bedside with my eyes closed, I felt swaying as if I was on a boat. I found myself swaying back and forth, back and forth. I then felt drawn upward as if someone was pulling me up out of my body but then I would always come back down. The rocking continued. It was a rather strong feeling of not being in control, which was unsettling, but it was peaceful.

Mirror Synchronicity: Beyond the Sunset - Part II

When I was preparing for the conference I was talking about my research to a co-worker who was practicing hymns that she was going to play for a patient. I told her that "Beyond the Sunset" was the most common epitaph that I had found and that I discovered it was a hymn. She said she had never heard of it and went to her book to look it up. The page opened up to the Beyond the Sunset hymn.

If you would like to hear the tune, I've selected a Pat Boone version especially for you here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqVLrPMXbaA

Mirror Coincidence: Beyond the Sunset - Part 1

Last summer I sent a proposal to a conference for cemetery research that I was conducting. My research team collect epitaphs from local cemeteries to look for changes in attitudes towards death.

I had to submit my conference proposal before we had collected the data. I wanted a catchy title, so I called it "Beyond the Sunset: What the epitaphs Tell Us about Changing Attitudes Towards Death in the 20th Century."

Later when we finished our research, I learned that Beyond the Sunset was the most popular epitaph for all of the epitaphs we collected!

Death education is a happy place

I recently had the great pleasure to attend the 32nd annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC.org) in Kansas City, MO. Having never attended this conference, I was not sure what to expect. I thought some people might be a bit 'goth' and perhaps morose with a lot of black. (I didn't think too hard on the matter). What I actually found was an amazing gathering of people willing to open their hearts and talk about the big stuff. To be clear, it wasn't all "serious" conversations - there was a lot of laughter too. Not surprisingly, there were quite a few synchronicities and serendipitous moments. But before I get into those, I wanted to talk about the general feeling of openness and try to share the experience.

Robert Neimeyer, for those of you who are not into Thanatology (the study of dying, death and bereavement) is one of the significant researchers in the field. As a graduate student, I recognized his name as one that I saw a lot in my studies. When I saw him at the opening reception, I asked him if he would take a picture with me for me to send to my advisor to goad my advisor about who I was "hanging out with" at the conference.

Because I did not know Professor Neimeyer personally, it was a big risk to walk right up to a top scholar and ask for a moment of his time. Well, he was so gracious and so polite and when we took the picture, he had a genuine smile - not a forced pose like most people do when asked to take a picture with someone they don't know. The person who was trying to use my phone to take the picture struggled a bit with the design of the camera phone (Google, please fix this!) and the moment extended into several as we had to keep trying...and then the lighting was bad, so we tried a different angle. Still, every picture had that genuine smile. (I would love to share, but when I took the picture I did not mention the internet, so in respect to him I shall leave it out...). Later on that evening and early the next day, we kept passing each other. Each time he smiled, genuinely. I felt special to be acknowledged by someone as important as him.

For the keynote address the following day, the main room filled up quickly and I was told there were open seats up in front. (Most like to sit in the back so they can get out of the room quickly). I ended up sitting in the very front row. There was one empty seat next to me in a very full conference room, and who should walk up and inquire, but Professor Neimeyer. Now, I had already randomly run into him 3 or 4 times in the past day in a conference of 600 people, so it was quite amusing to me. I told him, "I swear, I'm not stalking you!"

The keynote was amazing - one of the best I have ever seen. He made us laugh, he made us cry. His name is Thomas Lynch and he is a former funeral director, essayist and poet. I should be embarrassed to admit this, but I had not heard of him prior to this event, so it was even more surprising and delightful to have been so thoroughly entertained. But here's what also struck me. Sitting next to me, Professor Neimeyer laughed heartily. Several times when he laughed, he looked around to watch other people laughing too. It was like he took great pleasure in other people's laughter as well. Now you may have seen studies about how we laugh more in a group, yada, yada, yada, but this was different. He actively looked around and took in the laughter of others. He turned to me while he was laughing to see if I was laughing too. It was very unique to me and I pondered it for several days. What does it mean? Why does he do that? What does it say about him?

Over the course of several days in having additional connections with a wide variety of attendees, I talked about my experience and observations and I found out that others had similar stories -the feeling of connectedness. Granted, Professor Neimeyer has been going to this conference for years and is a former president, but so many people had the same type of experience - a meaningful (if brief) interaction with this man who is one of the TOP of his field. I even heard a story about him in a Conga line at a conference in the early '90s. Let me remind you, he is a top scholar on DEATH and DYING and he is this super friendly, open, warm person who laughs heartily.

And in thinking about this man, I realized that he personified for me the experience from the whole event. Those who study death and dying are, in the words of Thomas Lynch, "in the deep end of the pool." We were all connected. No one there has had an easy life. One doesn't just "happen" into the field of death and dying and grief and loss... we're there because we know loss. Intimately. But once one knows loss, you process it, you think about it, you accept it, you are free. You are light. It's there. You understand that you could lose your husband or your wife or your mother or your father, your child or your best friend tomorrow. You could even die yourself. So today is an opportunity, a gift. What do we do with this gift? Do we treasure it? Do we open it, share it, devour it, dance with it? Absolutely.

Thank you God for giving me today.