Friday night I visited with an old friend to celebrate her birthday. We have been friends for fifteen years. Our friendship has ebbed and flowed over time. At one time we worked together and lived steps away in the same apartment complex. Later, after she had 4 children and moved to a small town about 45 minutes away, we would sometimes go for months without talking. We weren't mad at each other, just busy with life. At a very significant time in her life when she was at a rough spot with marriage and family and "life". I wasn't there for her. She felt very alone. It's not that I didn't want to be there, I just couldn't. I had a job that required weekly travel (oh yes, there are blogs about those days if you look way back). At that time I was also processing my mom's decline, her eventual death and the grieving that follows. My friend wasn't there for me at that time either. She was busy with life.
The other night we looked at each other and asked "Why weren't you there for me?" Then it dawned on us as a mutual understanding. We realized together that the universe had other plans. We were meant to carry the burdens and get through the struggles without the other. The lessons we needed to learn could not have happened any other way. It was with this realization that we both felt gratitude that we were back together again. Strangely enough, she lives even farther away now, but the universe has allowed us to reconnect and I am able to get to know her four lovely children and watch them grow up.
Of course, this reminds me of the
Footprints poem by Mary Stevenson which so eloquently reminds us that we are never
truly "alone".
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